Fed up with people farting when you're around? Then you need The Fart Minder! His nose is highly trained in odour detection and he will block any hostile farts aimed in your direction. Two triggers: Guard - he'll jump in front of you to protect you ("Any of you fancies hittin' the Guv wiv some methane, you gotta get thru me first!") and Alert - he'll watch your back (Watch it Guv, one of these scrotes has had beans!"). When he's not on guard or alert, he'll just stand there looking menacing.